“Shame is the intensely personal feeling that we are unworthy of love” – Brene Brown
With all of the recent lunar activity, 2018 is proving to be a year of release and introspection. Being a universal year 2, it is a time to do the ‘inner work’ by identifying the nature of your most challenging emotions so that you can empower yourself by letting go of any resentment that you may be feeling towards yourself or other people.
Self-forgiveness can be quite challenging but can be a huge catalyst for banishing perfectionism, expectations, disgust, low self-esteem and self-doubt. Divulging your deepest secrets is essential and will be surprised how much your life will open up once you have unburdened yourself of the things you feel shameful about.
Remember everyone makes mistakes and nobody is judging or criticising your actions except you.
During this article you will discover exactly how to unwrap the complexities of shame and discover new and innovate methods to love yourself by empowering unworthiness through forgiveness and sharing your secrets.
I will not only reveal how to rebalance your solar-plexus chakra, the location of these destructive emotions, but I will also provide some handy tips on how you can accept and forgive yourself and others so that you can move forward carrying less resentment, self-doubt and shame.
WHAT IS SHAME?
Shame is an insanely unhealthy emotion, which results in lowered self-esteem and behaviour that cements that self-image. It can last for many years so it is best to recognise the symptoms early so that you can take the necessary steps to eradicate any false perceptions that are preventing you from enjoying a fulfilling life.
SHAME IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A MULTITUDE OF ISSUES INCLUDING:
Self-criticism, self-blame and self-neglect.
Abusing your body with food, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or self-harming.
Picking fights with loved ones or sabotaging your job.
Believing that you do not deserve good situations to occur.
For many years, I lived with the shame of being gay. During my teens I started developing feelings towards other boys and I believed I was bad for having these thoughts and sensations. I hid these emotions away for years until I was eighteen and had the confidence to confess my sins because my elder sister was also gay. We came out to my Mum on the same day. Funnily enough, she was ok with it after the initial shock but I wish I had confronted it sooner as it may have prevented a period of bullying I experienced whilst at school and encouraged me to get involved in more activities with the other pupils.
ACTIVATE THE SOLAR PLEXUS TO REDUCE SHAME
Yellow is the colour of the Solar-Plexus Chakra. This sunny and uplifting colour will improve your energy levels so that you will feel more tolerant, confident and strong willed. Yellow improves the function of your 3rd energy centre that enhances self-esteem and trust whilst reaffirming your personal power so you feel more optimistic, intellectually stimulated and organised. It is located in the navel area around your belly button.
Yellow energy helps to transform anger, resentment, frustration and overwhelm.
It works on the stomach, spleen, metabolism, pancreas, liver, diaphragm and adrenals.
Signs of a blocked solar plexus chakra can include:
Domineering or controlling tendencies, aggression, feeling scattered, poor self-esteem, sluggish, digestive issues, diabetes, fear, ulcers, weight gain, depression or having a weak will.
There are several ways to stimulate and rebalance this energy centre.
1. USE VIBRATIONAL REMEDIES
Australian bush flowers such as the Billy Goat Plum, Paw Paw, Dog Rose, Crowea, Southern Cross and Sunshine Wattle will work on rebalancing the solar-plexus chakra and will ultimately help you to release any shame, self-doubt, self-confidence or unworthiness which will improve your intimate relationships with other people. I would also suggest using Dagger Hakea to assist with the forgiveness regime.
Organic essential oils such as Cassia, Grapefruit, Lemon and Ginger are also perfect as they can either be diffused in an oil burner or vaporiser, sprayed into the aura in the form of a misting spray or gently rubbed onto certain trigger points on the skin.
2. USE DAILY AFFIRMATIONS
Affirmations are a proven method to reprogram the subconscious mind and encourage you to believe more positive things about yourself. I have found them to be extremely beneficial in helping my clients to lovingly create their own reality by increasing self-acceptance and inner peace.
A simple positive affirmation to empower unworthiness will significantly reduce any beliefs that you may be holding about not being ‘good enough’ or that you are somehow ‘less than’ other people. This will ultimately transform any shame that you have that you can experience more inner peace and self-confidence.
A selection of powerful affirmations is available in the meditation below.
The easiest way to notice if your solar plexus chakra is out of balance is when you can’t recognise your unique value and spend too much time comparing yourself to other people and wishing you were more like them. You are likely to have many limiting thoughts and a very over-active mind that may include negative, potentially obsessive and destructive inner dialogue. You may frequently revisit events in your past that you feel ashamed of and use them to willingly beat yourself up. It is also likely that you choose not to get involved in important activities outside of the house, such as enjoying time with family and friends as you don’t feel good about the way you look.
Author C. JoyBell C. summaries the pitfalls of this type of behaviour beautifully in the following statement: “You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticise yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
To balance our solar plexus chakra you must firstly accept that you are not perfect (nobody is) and take the necessary steps to release your self-hatred by consciously choosing to forgive yourself and other people.
3. FORGIVE YOURSELF
Here are seven simple steps to forgive yourself:
Spend some time thinking seriously about how your actions or inaction have harmed the person.
Write down all the ways your action or inaction harmed this person.
Admit what you have done to hurt them. It is important that you tell those you have harmed that they have a right to their anger and that you encourage them to voice their anger directly to you. (Make certain, however, that you do not allow anyone to verbally abuse you or to shame you.)
Apologise to them from your heart. They will be able to sense if it is not genuine.
Take responsibility for your actions. This means not blaming anyone else for what you did and not making excuses for your actions.
Be willing to take some action to remedy the situation and vow to them that it will never happen again.
Ask a higher power for forgiveness. This can take the form of whoever or whatever you believe in.
4. FORGIVE OTHERS
Here are six simple steps to forgive others…
Go inward via meditation and allow the subconscious mind to reveal the people or situations that are causing distress in some way. Whilst your mind is quiet, listen out for their names or memories to resurface and trust that whatever comes up requires healing through forgiveness.
Imagine the first person on the list as if they are standing before you.
Visualise a glowing, golden thread stretching between your solar plexus and theirs and then start listing all the things that you are feeling resentment towards them for. Try and release every last feeling until there is nothing left unspoken. It will feel as if you are purging your body, mind and soul.
Observe this energy as it diffuses from your cells.
Cut the thread with an imaginary pair of golden scissors and announce that you are ready to forgive them and watch as they disappear into a vibrant, white light.
Repeat the process from their perspective too. Therefore the next step is to try and feel any resentment that they are holding towards you and make a decision to forgive them for that (say it out loud) and once again divide the golden thread. This does not mean that you have to excuse their actions or behaviour but to merely offer forgiveness at a soul level.
5. USE CRYSTALS
Listed below are a variety of healing stones that are commonly used to open, balance and heal the solar-plexus chakra.
Citrine – Pale Yellow – Raises self-esteem and self-confidence, activates creativity and promotes joy.
Tiger’s Eye – Golden brown – A protective stone, tiger’s eye is good for grounding, cleansing and balancing.
Lemon Jade – Develops confidence and self-esteem. Increases stamina.
Yellow Calcite – Eliminates negative thoughts and self-defeating behaviours.
Amber – Clears depression, stimulates the intellect and promotes self-confidence and creative self-expression
6. USE SOUND FREQUENCIES:
Many sounds seem to resonate the chakras. However, among the most popular are the use of vowels and the use of mantras. This use of vowels is extremely effective in balancing the chakras. The vowel for base activation is Oh.
The second method of resonating the chakras is to use the Bija Mantras, the Sanskrit letters from the Vedic traditions, which are said to balance and align the chakras. The Bija Mantra is Ram.
Another aspect of sonic chakra resonance has to do with the actual frequency or keynote of each chakra.
Many believe that keynote E to be in natural resonance with many of the frequencies of the Earth itself. It has a frequency of 320 Hz.
7. MEDITATE – YELLOW SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA MEDITATION
Choose a comfortable space in your home where you will not be disturbed for the next 15 minutes and sitting upright, just relax, close your eyes and begin by concentrating on your breath.
Throughout this meditation we are going to be focussing on rebuilding our sense of confidence and personal power.
Slowly, breathe in deeply to the count of 5, allowing your belly to expand, followed by your chest so your lungs are full of air. Hold for another 5 seconds and finally slowly breathe out for about 7 seconds until your lungs are completely empty.
Repeat the process several times to deepen your relaxation but this time when you breathe in imagine that you are inhaling peace as a vibrant white light and exhaling any form of tension or anxiety as a dark cloud. Slowing everything down so that your whole body starts to feel loose and floppy, heavy and warm.
Take a few moments to observe the weight of your body either in the chair or on the floor and any sounds that can hear either close up or far away.
Any thoughts or feelings that come in, simply observe without judgement and imagine them being gently wafted away with a paper fan and return your focus to the breath. Breathing in peace as a white light and tension as a dark cloud.
I’d like you to imagine a beautiful golden light, similar to sunshine beaming down through the top of your head and allow it to flood down throughout your entire being. This warming light travels down through the face, neck and shoulders, arms and hands, chest and stomach, hips and thighs, knees and calves, ankles and feet and finally the toes, filling your entire being. Allow the light to dissolve any areas of tension that you notice are stored at various points of the body as it beams through.
Allow this area to relax to its highest capacity in this moment. Move onto the next area until you reach your toes. Imagine energetic roots growing down from your feet into the ground beneath you, connecting you to Mother Earth. Allow these roots to continue to penetrate deep into the ground, further and further into the earth until they reach the centre and connect to a bright yellow light that travels up these roots until it reaches your naval, the location of your solar plexus chakra.
Observe any thoughts and feelings and continue to waft them away with your paper fan. Allow this yellow light at the base of your spine to be your only focus.
As you continue to breathe in, imagine this yellow light intensifying in colour and gaining power and momentum in a circular, clockwise motion. The light glows brightly like a burning flame.
Observe any sensations that you are holding in your solar plexus chakra. It may feel warm or cold, numb or tingly or even painful.
Consciously choose to release these sensations as you breathe golden light into this area. Imagine them dissolving and disappearing, allowing your yellow light to shine even more brightly.
Try not to analyse whatever your are consciously releasing. Simply set the intention to let go of all that no longer serves your highest good.
Continue to breathe in golden light and imagine the yellow light expanding in all directions as far as you feel comfortable.
I would now like you to repeat the following affirmations…
I am a powerful person.
I control my reactions to life.
I am happy, peaceful, outgoing and decisive.
I am optimistic and fully respect myself.
I am confident, strong and worthy.
I have a bright, sharp and intelligent mind.
I set healthy boundaries to protect myself and others.
Now simply return to the breath. Breathing in for 5 seconds, holding and then breathing out for 7 seconds. As you breathe out imagine any last remaining tension leaving your body and observe your yellow light now brighter than ever.
Notice how you are feeling now. Just sit with that for a few moments before starting to become more aware of the weight of the body in your chair or on the floor. Listening out for any sounds that you can hear either close up or far away and in your own time as I count up from 5 to 1 you begin to become more aware of your surroundings and when you open your eyes you are feeling better than before with greater personal power, optimism and worthiness. 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1….
Opening your eyes and taking a deep breathe and enjoy having a stretch to welcome back in the day…